Don't Make Resolutions. Set Goals.

The fresh start of a new calendar year is often accompanied by a renewed sense of dedication.

These dedications may be work or school-related, relationship based or about weight loss. They may be to give up bad habits like smoking, eating fast food or spending too much money. They may be about incorporating a new, positive habit - like volunteering, increased family time or traveling somewhere new. 

Surely you know that our culture refers to these dedications as "resolutions." And surely you know that by mid-January, many resolutions have been pushed to the back burner, and by the time February comes around, they are nothing but a fuzzy memory. In fact, while 45% of people usually set New Years Resolutions, only 8% actually achieve them.

Why do you think this is? After all, people genuinely do want to improve their relationships, lose weight, and forgo bad habits - don't they? I propose that most people fail themselves concerning their New Year's resolutions for two main reasons:

1) The resolution is made on a whim, based on feelings rather than conscious decisions. The "renewed sense" of dedication, as opposed to a determined effort to achieve something, fades as the newness of the year fades and the post-holiday slump sets in. It's easy to be excited about a new lifestyle change when life in general is exciting. But when the excitement of holidays passes, it's much more difficult to maintain zeal and zest for a new habit. 

2) The resolution is stated without contemplating or explaining what steps need to be taken to achieve it. This comes from my background in public relations - it is improper to set a goal without outlining the strategies and tactics that must be carried out to achieve the goal. The same is true for resolutions. Without a set of directions, how can you expect to get there?

For example, the person who resolves: "I want to lose weight" is probably not as likely to meet their goals as the person who says: "I will lose 1 pound per week by adding 2 hours of physical exercise to my current routine, eating out less, and replacing 3 heavier meals per week with salads until I lose 15 pounds."

It is much better to set goals (along with what you will do to achieve them) rather than to resolve to do something. In doing so, you are not making the resolution on a whim, but rather as a conscious effort to achieve real change in your life.

 In 2013, I wrote down my goals and outlined how I would achieve them. Out of the 12 goals I set for myself in 2013, I achieved 10 of them. Even though I didn't meet every single goal, I still significantly improved the quality of my life. After all, isn't that the point?

Get ready.

I'm sticking to it this time. The blogging, I mean.

I have tried two or three times to blog regularly, and have failed miserably. It's not a big deal, because nobody cares - nobody is hanging on to my every word or is likely even interested in what I have to say.

But I care.

I love to think and write and express myself. I write often for my job. I have the privilege of writing about successful business people, stellar students, and activities at West Virginia University. But I never get to write for myself.

And in 2014, that is going to change.

Up until now, the name of this blog as been "Reaching for the Random or Whatever Will Bewilder." These are lyrics to one of my favorite songs - "Lateralus" by Tool. The section of the song it is taken from goes like this:

"With my feet upon the ground I lose myself between the sounds and open wide to suck it in.
I feel it move across my skin.
I'm reaching up and reaching out.
I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been."


In the past, this has been most appropriate for me. Young, still in school, unclear of my goals - reaching for the random or whatever will bewilder me seemed like a good idea at the time. I don't know that it took me anywhere no one else has been, but I sure did learn a lot. I found myself in several places I never thought I would be. Unfortunately, many of them were not good places. But sometimes you have to hit rock bottom, because the only place to go from there is up. 

Today I wouldn't say I'm reaching for the random. What I'm reaching for isn't specifically defined. There is certainly still some ambiguity that accompanies your post-graduate mid-twenties, after all. But I know a few things I'm reaching for:

To be a light in the world by being a friend.
To being the best version of myself - mentally, spiritually and physically.
Peace and confidence within myself.
Love.

I also wouldn't say I'm looking for whatever will bewilder me, although I welcome new experiences that may provide bewilderment. Before, I sought out things that confused or bewildered me in an effort to understand them. When I was looking for "whatever," I sure found a lot of diverse people and experiences. And I am thankful for each and every one of them because they have led me down the path that got me to today, and have shaped me into the person I have become and will continue to become.

While I don't mean to insinuate that I'm done learning about different types of people, or about the world, I have become pickier about what I reach for. These days, I reach for positivity. I reach for kindness. I reach for compassion. I reach for authenticity. I reach for open communication.


So, cheers to 2014 and a renewed dedication to writing for myself. After all, I deserve to spend a little of this talent on myself, don't you think?